Today I wish for the spark of creativity that my disorder gives me. The rush of utter joy and excitement and even the slow creep of fear. Instead, the lithium has robbed me of emotion and left me with anxiety. I numb it with something I can’t get hooked on. Something that doesn’t work with my anxiety. I need Benzos for my anxiety.
Today I started writing Kate’s proposal. I need the creativity badly, the rush of thoughts, racing through my head. The lithium removes most of the irrational fears. But leaves the pain I see. The pain of this journey through utter hell and back all to barely hang on to sanity.
They didn’t take the essence of me away from me, and neither will any drug.
What are your thoughts? We want to know!